He and his brother pulled up in a sleek car. She and her friend were not looking for relationship. He had just returned from Panama and a tour there as a U.S. Marine. His tanned skin made his dark features even darker. With jet black hair and a tall, slender physique, he would fit in with a group of entertainers from the day; Elvis, Johnny Cash and the rock and country scene of the time. He had an interest in her and she slowly returned the interest. As they began to date and move towards marriage, they had found a love that had been missing in other relationships. They married on July 29, 1965 and within the first two years they had two little boys. He juggled several jobs to provide for them all.
He was from the Western part of New York State and she from the Bay area of Maryland and the meeting was purely accidental. But God had His Hand in their meeting, as He always does. We call it Fate or Chance, but it is ultimately by the work of His Hands. He orchestrates our meetings and chance encounters and nothing is really left to chance. They did not know it yet, or even know Him yet, but as the pinch of financial pressures and two toddlers at home closed in around them, the pressure would soon prove to be too much. As you can probably tell, and may already know, the story of one couple changes as the kids start coming. By the time they had two children and a third on the way, she knew she needed more in her life than a hard-working husband and the life he could provide. She began to feel an emptiness inside that he could not fill. Finding herself drawn to a man named Jesus, her husband was not keen to the idea. As she learned through the ministry of Billy Graham that this other man could change her life, she felt drawn to Him and His compassion. She gave her life to Christ, which did not sit well with her husband, and he locked her Bible & religious books in the trunk of the car to keep her from Him. She was invited to a church and eventually decided to be baptized. Once in the water, the pastor spotted her husband making his way down the aisle. As he lowered her into the water, her husband was spitting mad and had to be restrained. But as time passed he knew that this was a permanent change and that her life was truly different. Christ’s love shown through her and she was able to love him better than she had before.
three children, and working around the clock, he was unhappy with her "other man". She would read large portions of her Bible in one sitting and found new “crazy” friends. But his heart began to soften and he began to be drawn to this Savior himself. No doubt, her prayers for him helped in that regard. He took his wife and two children to see a Billy Graham Ministries movie. His oldest boy asked him if he wanted to get saved while tugging on his pants. He gave in and walked down the aisle. He surrendered his heart and dedicated his life to Christ. He began to work with youth and had a passion to tell young adults about Christ and how He could change their lives. He worked with the youth pastors at their church and I remember riding on buses and vans and singing songs with my brothers and the other children and teenagers. This work of service to the church soon propelled him to attend seminary. A newer seminary had opened a few years earlier in a town called Lynchburg, Virginia. It was opened by a television pastor, Jerry Falwell and some of his colleagues. With this call on his life, my Dad and Mom packed us all up and we made the move to the Central Virginia area. My Dad still worked several jobs and went to school, by this time my youngest brother was on the way and he would round out the five of us children.
My Dad found a new job as a maintenance mechanic at a local foundry and put his experience in electrical maintenance to good use. A dirty, tough job that paid well and provided for his family, it interfered with the perceived calling on his life. We would spend Sundays on the road sometimes as my Dad would drive around to different areas to preach. This would be a dream that never really came to fruition as the job would give him the supplies he needed to answer his first calling, to his family. As I look back, I recall times when my Dad and Mom would drive away to get out of the house and perhaps to share their dreams; dreams that had to have changed over the years as the kids grew older. There were five of us spread out in a period of twelve years, so when my oldest brother was graduating from high school, my youngest brother was entering first grade. So the cycle would begin again. But my parents stuck together, through thick and thin. They spent their time settling arguments and basically keeping us from killing, and/ or causing a sibling bodily harm and a major disability. We learned a lot of things about church, relationships and how to handle conflict- in several productive and unproductive ways. But my Mom pointed us to Christ and my Dad brought us to church. He worked a lot, but made sure we were at church when the doors were open. In the middle of the sometimes chaotic happenings, there was a Grace and Love that we may not have recognized at the time. There were car accidents and bike wrecks and pets found and lost.
Dad had to leave his job on disability a few years before his retirement age. He had cancer and could no longer work at full capacity. After having spent forty years raising children, my parents were able to travel a little and had plans to continue to do so. It was great to see them be able to breathe -- without all of us crowding them and creating little time for each other. It was as if they had fallen in love again, or by our absence in adulthood, we just made it easier for their love to fill the air again. I know that my Dad especially seemed to have a renewed sense of purpose, the original purpose which was to love my Mom well. My Dad’s cancer progressed and the end would soon come. My parent’s had to learn to let go of each other, even before death would come. They had spent many years rearing children and now the few years they had fully alone with each other were drawing to a close prematurely.
This year would be my parents’ fifty-first anniversary and my Mom will celebrate again without my Dad. If we carry our memories forward with us even after someone passes away, then there can be no doubt that those of a forty-plus year marriage are immense. They are not just scrapbook memories or old photos. They are real visible recollections of a life that a man and his wife built together. They are good and bad and up and down. They are heart-stopping and heart-pounding memories of a life lived in those moments of time that are surreal and shockingly tangible. Life at full-speed, with children getting hurt, dreams awakened and crushed and an unwanted ending. As my Mom spends time with the thoughts and memories of a life, a love and an Eternal Hope, she knows that she has the love of the five of us children and our spouses, children and grandchildren. She also knows that she has the memories of a love from my Dad and all the moments and ways he loved her and us.
He was from the Western part of New York State and she from the Bay area of Maryland and the meeting was purely accidental. But God had His Hand in their meeting, as He always does. We call it Fate or Chance, but it is ultimately by the work of His Hands. He orchestrates our meetings and chance encounters and nothing is really left to chance. They did not know it yet, or even know Him yet, but as the pinch of financial pressures and two toddlers at home closed in around them, the pressure would soon prove to be too much. As you can probably tell, and may already know, the story of one couple changes as the kids start coming. By the time they had two children and a third on the way, she knew she needed more in her life than a hard-working husband and the life he could provide. She began to feel an emptiness inside that he could not fill. Finding herself drawn to a man named Jesus, her husband was not keen to the idea. As she learned through the ministry of Billy Graham that this other man could change her life, she felt drawn to Him and His compassion. She gave her life to Christ, which did not sit well with her husband, and he locked her Bible & religious books in the trunk of the car to keep her from Him. She was invited to a church and eventually decided to be baptized. Once in the water, the pastor spotted her husband making his way down the aisle. As he lowered her into the water, her husband was spitting mad and had to be restrained. But as time passed he knew that this was a permanent change and that her life was truly different. Christ’s love shown through her and she was able to love him better than she had before.
three children, and working around the clock, he was unhappy with her "other man". She would read large portions of her Bible in one sitting and found new “crazy” friends. But his heart began to soften and he began to be drawn to this Savior himself. No doubt, her prayers for him helped in that regard. He took his wife and two children to see a Billy Graham Ministries movie. His oldest boy asked him if he wanted to get saved while tugging on his pants. He gave in and walked down the aisle. He surrendered his heart and dedicated his life to Christ. He began to work with youth and had a passion to tell young adults about Christ and how He could change their lives. He worked with the youth pastors at their church and I remember riding on buses and vans and singing songs with my brothers and the other children and teenagers. This work of service to the church soon propelled him to attend seminary. A newer seminary had opened a few years earlier in a town called Lynchburg, Virginia. It was opened by a television pastor, Jerry Falwell and some of his colleagues. With this call on his life, my Dad and Mom packed us all up and we made the move to the Central Virginia area. My Dad still worked several jobs and went to school, by this time my youngest brother was on the way and he would round out the five of us children.
My Dad found a new job as a maintenance mechanic at a local foundry and put his experience in electrical maintenance to good use. A dirty, tough job that paid well and provided for his family, it interfered with the perceived calling on his life. We would spend Sundays on the road sometimes as my Dad would drive around to different areas to preach. This would be a dream that never really came to fruition as the job would give him the supplies he needed to answer his first calling, to his family. As I look back, I recall times when my Dad and Mom would drive away to get out of the house and perhaps to share their dreams; dreams that had to have changed over the years as the kids grew older. There were five of us spread out in a period of twelve years, so when my oldest brother was graduating from high school, my youngest brother was entering first grade. So the cycle would begin again. But my parents stuck together, through thick and thin. They spent their time settling arguments and basically keeping us from killing, and/ or causing a sibling bodily harm and a major disability. We learned a lot of things about church, relationships and how to handle conflict- in several productive and unproductive ways. But my Mom pointed us to Christ and my Dad brought us to church. He worked a lot, but made sure we were at church when the doors were open. In the middle of the sometimes chaotic happenings, there was a Grace and Love that we may not have recognized at the time. There were car accidents and bike wrecks and pets found and lost.
Dad had to leave his job on disability a few years before his retirement age. He had cancer and could no longer work at full capacity. After having spent forty years raising children, my parents were able to travel a little and had plans to continue to do so. It was great to see them be able to breathe -- without all of us crowding them and creating little time for each other. It was as if they had fallen in love again, or by our absence in adulthood, we just made it easier for their love to fill the air again. I know that my Dad especially seemed to have a renewed sense of purpose, the original purpose which was to love my Mom well. My Dad’s cancer progressed and the end would soon come. My parent’s had to learn to let go of each other, even before death would come. They had spent many years rearing children and now the few years they had fully alone with each other were drawing to a close prematurely.
This year would be my parents’ fifty-first anniversary and my Mom will celebrate again without my Dad. If we carry our memories forward with us even after someone passes away, then there can be no doubt that those of a forty-plus year marriage are immense. They are not just scrapbook memories or old photos. They are real visible recollections of a life that a man and his wife built together. They are good and bad and up and down. They are heart-stopping and heart-pounding memories of a life lived in those moments of time that are surreal and shockingly tangible. Life at full-speed, with children getting hurt, dreams awakened and crushed and an unwanted ending. As my Mom spends time with the thoughts and memories of a life, a love and an Eternal Hope, she knows that she has the love of the five of us children and our spouses, children and grandchildren. She also knows that she has the memories of a love from my Dad and all the moments and ways he loved her and us.
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