Sometimes there are barriers to the next stage in our lives. A time of transition, when we know for certain that some things must end so that new things can begin. As we are preparing for what lies ahead of us, we can start to feel suffocated by the uncertainty of anticipated events. We know two things and only two things—that a chapter in our lives is ending and a new one is beginning.
Although we look forward to what is not seen but anticipated, we also look back and are thankful for what has been a blessing in our lives but now is ending. But the time in between can be tough. Sometimes the Enemy does not want us to move forward with what God may be calling us to do. He certainly wants to keep us muddled and defeated. If he can keep us tossed about on waves of doubt and regret, then he can stop us from stepping out into a greater Faith and belief in what God is going to do next in our lives.
I have been through these times before, but yet right now, this has been the toughest time of adjustment for me. Knowing that God wants me to step out and trust Him with what He is asking me to do, I have also been stuck in the mud and that great adversary has been bombarding me with negativity. Paralyzed, frozen and stopped dead in my tracks, the walls have been closing in and I have been mired in negativity and not creativity. Fighting for peace and joy, even when I know that my God’s presence is with me, has left me feeling like I could not fight my way out of a wet paper bag. Knowing what He has given me a passion to do, but still feeling like I am unprepared, I slip away to seek Him out. I come before Him, alone and disheveled. My heart heavy with the burdens and cares that I was never meant to carry. My attempts to lay them down seem as if they haven’t worked and I am unable to sense Him near me. The walls get higher and I am closed in. Whether it is Him, hemming me in, or the enemy attempting to erect a wall so high that I cannot climb over or bust my way through, I do not know. I focus on everything except what I should be. When I try to focus on Him, I see only the blank wall. I say prayers, read scriptures and ask friends for prayers. A month passes and I still see no daylight.
Exhausted, I sleep for many hours. My only comfort is to rest and relax. I blame it on the heat and humidity, but I know that it is still there. The blank, emptiness and bare walls of the barrier built before me. I do everything I know to do: Be still and know, Confess and search my heart for unconfessed sins, pretend to mourn, over what, I do not know. My heart is grieved and yet my heart is apathetic. I care too much and not enough. Full of paradoxes, I attempt to carry on. But at just the right time…. Maybe a prayer from a friend in the midnight hour, maybe God removing a wall that was never really there. Maybe He was testing me to see if He was still enough for me or if my heart was still humble enough to want to go forward and serve Him. Maybe He was wanting to see if I still have the hunger and thirst for righteousness or if I have finally believed what He has said about me. Whatever the reason, the breakthrough finally comes. The cloud I was under is now going away. As I worship and praise Him just for Who He is, I sense the communion with Him again. He restores the joy of my salvation and the dry season seems to be ending.
With a full heart of praise for this great Savior, I am ready to move forward with what comes next. An adjustment to be sure, but one that is for the better. There may be some letdown and others may not understand, but nothing lasts forever and the way is clear to move forward. I am confident and have hopeful expectation of what He can accomplish through one willing servant whose heart is fully surrendered and prepared for what awaits him!
Although we look forward to what is not seen but anticipated, we also look back and are thankful for what has been a blessing in our lives but now is ending. But the time in between can be tough. Sometimes the Enemy does not want us to move forward with what God may be calling us to do. He certainly wants to keep us muddled and defeated. If he can keep us tossed about on waves of doubt and regret, then he can stop us from stepping out into a greater Faith and belief in what God is going to do next in our lives.
I have been through these times before, but yet right now, this has been the toughest time of adjustment for me. Knowing that God wants me to step out and trust Him with what He is asking me to do, I have also been stuck in the mud and that great adversary has been bombarding me with negativity. Paralyzed, frozen and stopped dead in my tracks, the walls have been closing in and I have been mired in negativity and not creativity. Fighting for peace and joy, even when I know that my God’s presence is with me, has left me feeling like I could not fight my way out of a wet paper bag. Knowing what He has given me a passion to do, but still feeling like I am unprepared, I slip away to seek Him out. I come before Him, alone and disheveled. My heart heavy with the burdens and cares that I was never meant to carry. My attempts to lay them down seem as if they haven’t worked and I am unable to sense Him near me. The walls get higher and I am closed in. Whether it is Him, hemming me in, or the enemy attempting to erect a wall so high that I cannot climb over or bust my way through, I do not know. I focus on everything except what I should be. When I try to focus on Him, I see only the blank wall. I say prayers, read scriptures and ask friends for prayers. A month passes and I still see no daylight.
Exhausted, I sleep for many hours. My only comfort is to rest and relax. I blame it on the heat and humidity, but I know that it is still there. The blank, emptiness and bare walls of the barrier built before me. I do everything I know to do: Be still and know, Confess and search my heart for unconfessed sins, pretend to mourn, over what, I do not know. My heart is grieved and yet my heart is apathetic. I care too much and not enough. Full of paradoxes, I attempt to carry on. But at just the right time…. Maybe a prayer from a friend in the midnight hour, maybe God removing a wall that was never really there. Maybe He was testing me to see if He was still enough for me or if my heart was still humble enough to want to go forward and serve Him. Maybe He was wanting to see if I still have the hunger and thirst for righteousness or if I have finally believed what He has said about me. Whatever the reason, the breakthrough finally comes. The cloud I was under is now going away. As I worship and praise Him just for Who He is, I sense the communion with Him again. He restores the joy of my salvation and the dry season seems to be ending.
With a full heart of praise for this great Savior, I am ready to move forward with what comes next. An adjustment to be sure, but one that is for the better. There may be some letdown and others may not understand, but nothing lasts forever and the way is clear to move forward. I am confident and have hopeful expectation of what He can accomplish through one willing servant whose heart is fully surrendered and prepared for what awaits him!
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