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Stuck in Numbers

2/13/2016

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I remember a number of years ago when I had decided to “get serious” about reading the Bible. I started out consuming portions of Scripture that revealed many Truths to me. As fast as I seemed to start rolling through the Word, I quickly began to see that reading for quantity was not the best approach. I began to read just a few chapters at a time and having read through the New Testament (My Favorite part), I began at the beginning, Genesis. I seemed to get bogged down after Exodus. Leviticus seemed to be full of rules for God’s people, Israel, (which I must admit was one reason I steered clear of the Old Testament in the first place). It seemed like a lot of slaughtering of animals and just a bloody mess. As I got into Numbers, I felt the wheels just spinning. The genealogies and countless thousands of people of each tribe, seemed to wear me down. It had not occurred to me that the way I was reading it might not have helped.

As we come to God’s Word, it is important to note why we are reading it. If I am trying to find a certain verse, then I will pick through it to find it and move on. If I try to study a certain passage, then I will come at it excited about what I can learn and apply to my life. If I am teaching others, then it is important that I convey what I have learned or studied in ways that can help us all. I enjoy reading it in the context that it was written, for the audience it was written to, with the intended purpose for which it was written. My approach early on was probably more of just reading it because I was “supposed to.” Although I have never been a big fan of doing something out of obedience, just because it was expected of me—my Mom can attest to that, I found myself plodding through Numbers and just not enjoying it at all. As I skipped over that book and found other more “exciting” stories, I came to realize that the parts I didn’t want to read were just as important as the ones that I enjoyed reading. (Thankfully, now I have a pastor who has a doctorate in Old Testament studies and is helping me to see that ALL of the Bible points to Jesus).

When I was a child and growing up into my teenage years, I began to see the Old Testament as a book that was filled with horror stories of what God would do to punish people who did not obey Him. Rather than seeing the times of Grace in some of the stories, I had chosen to focus on the wrath He could and did pour out on those who sinned against Him. My understanding of His Love, Mercy and Grace were not where they could have been and I just shied away from reading His Word at all. But in His Word, He encourages us to come and know Him better. As I have slowly done that, I have seen that all of it was necessary, that we are all broken and bent away from Him and the things that would lead us to Him. As His Love was explained to me and I learned more about His Grace and how He loves us, I found it easier to sit down with His Word and come to know Him better.

It has been said that our spiritual life in Him is not about rules, but about the relationship we can have with Him. While I agree with this, I do know that He does want us to obey Him. As we get to know Him and His nature better, we will have less fear of Him— as far as His wrath is concerned, because we will be obedient to Him because He first loved us. This, for me, has been the key to discovering the life that I can have in Him.

Now as I open His Word, my approach is different. Not only am I wanting to learn and put into practice what He reveals to me, but out of His Love for me, I have a stronger desire to want to follow Him in obedience. Oftentimes, I miss that mark. My mouth, mind and heart get me into trouble that way. I still have that rebellious spirit that I allow to be in control of me far too often. The struggle between wanting things our own way and waiting on His timing to fix what we see as broken, is very real. We run ahead of Him and His will for us, we get away from His sightlines and end up in a wilderness that we have chosen. But He is never away from us, never are we outside of the realm of His Grace. We may not see Him through the mess we have made, but He is still present with us. He invites us back to Him, corrects us in His Love, and restores us and sets us back on the right path. We can approach His Word and get to know Him better, discover a greater trust in Him and His plans for us that are so much greater than our own. I would invite you to get to know the One who loves you more than any person on this planet ever will. Come and know this Loving Savior who bled and died to pardon our sins and invite us into a Love relationship with Him. Come, read His Word, and know Him better.


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