I made a right turn and soon discovered that I was on a one-way street headed in the wrong direction. I quickly made the next right turn to take corrective action. We were in the heart of the city and were looking for a place to stop for the night. We would then enjoy the next day in the Amish country of Pennsylvania. At least that is what I had planned.
We had been to upstate New York to help a friend move some of his things. Tired and weary from our trip so far, she was now upset on top of it. After a few choice words for each other, we drove on through the night silently and finally stopped over an hour away. The next morning we would continue our trek towards home. Looking out of the window of the pickup truck was not my idea of a real vacation, but it was all there would be this time. Not knowing we were headed for a heartache and the next several months would be nothing but heartbreak for me.
Sometimes in life, we make a wrong turn. Thinking, maybe even hoping, that things will work out, we move forward with our plans and with those that are in our lives at the time. We try our best to make relationships work, to keep people pleased, but to no avail. They are either not satisfied with us or life with us and there is nothing we can do. No matter how hard we try, we only hurt ourselves in the process of trying to make someone happy who refuses to be, at least with us anyway. The expectations that others place on us is often unrealistic and we lose ourselves along the way. Friendships we had suffer as we isolate ourselves in an ill-advised attempt to make the ones we love happy. The problem, most of the time, is that they are the ones who will not be happy and maybe never can be. Their search for perfection and the way that they hold it over us when we do not live up to their standard, will only leave them disappointed and leave us holding on to nothing.
As the pages of this chapter in my life were coming to a close, I am so relieved that I found someone who did not need or expect me to perform well. Someone who was pleased with who I was already and saw the potential of what I could be. A Love that offered Forgiveness before I even asked for it, who saw my failures as opportunities and not the last straw. How merciful to have someone who can love us perfectly! I found forgiveness as I uttered the words and a Love that would not let me go. Someone who would help me to navigate the road ahead and offer answers when I did not know where to turn.
Many years have passed since then and this Love has grown on me and helped to grow me up. He has been there every step of the way and He always has been, even when I did not recognize it. I had called myself one of His for most of my life, and while that was true, the amount of time that I chose to spend with Him was not indicative of a desire for real relationship on my part. But once I understood how much He Loved me, began to understand the Grace that He had always been pouring into my life, then I was on my way to Freedom and a world with no low-hanging clouds of performance measurement. The Son had set me Free!
Those earlier years seem like a distant memory now and the people pleasing that I attempted back then, and its miserable failures, have washed away. Now I can live my life trying to please the Only One who will always Love me for me and not for who I should be. Because of His Grace, Mercy and Unfailing Love, I can now serve Him wholeheartedly and not because I have to. As I am learning that this is the relationship that we should all want to pursue, the dead ends of the past are being blown away. The memories of trying to be a good….. fill in the blank here- child, spouse, employee, co-worker or friend….. are still there, but I have found a better way to live and a greater prize to live for.
So no matter where you are on the road of life, there is a Freedom to be found. You can leave the voices of the past behind. Your current people-pleasing endeavor can be let go of and traded in for the relationship that you need the most. With the One who will Love you better than anyone else in your life, you will breathe a sigh of relief and begin to release yourself from the prison and chains that you have found yourself in. You will learn to Live in the Light and Love of a Perfect Savior. This is where you belong. This is where you will begin to find yourself. This is Home.
We had been to upstate New York to help a friend move some of his things. Tired and weary from our trip so far, she was now upset on top of it. After a few choice words for each other, we drove on through the night silently and finally stopped over an hour away. The next morning we would continue our trek towards home. Looking out of the window of the pickup truck was not my idea of a real vacation, but it was all there would be this time. Not knowing we were headed for a heartache and the next several months would be nothing but heartbreak for me.
Sometimes in life, we make a wrong turn. Thinking, maybe even hoping, that things will work out, we move forward with our plans and with those that are in our lives at the time. We try our best to make relationships work, to keep people pleased, but to no avail. They are either not satisfied with us or life with us and there is nothing we can do. No matter how hard we try, we only hurt ourselves in the process of trying to make someone happy who refuses to be, at least with us anyway. The expectations that others place on us is often unrealistic and we lose ourselves along the way. Friendships we had suffer as we isolate ourselves in an ill-advised attempt to make the ones we love happy. The problem, most of the time, is that they are the ones who will not be happy and maybe never can be. Their search for perfection and the way that they hold it over us when we do not live up to their standard, will only leave them disappointed and leave us holding on to nothing.
As the pages of this chapter in my life were coming to a close, I am so relieved that I found someone who did not need or expect me to perform well. Someone who was pleased with who I was already and saw the potential of what I could be. A Love that offered Forgiveness before I even asked for it, who saw my failures as opportunities and not the last straw. How merciful to have someone who can love us perfectly! I found forgiveness as I uttered the words and a Love that would not let me go. Someone who would help me to navigate the road ahead and offer answers when I did not know where to turn.
Many years have passed since then and this Love has grown on me and helped to grow me up. He has been there every step of the way and He always has been, even when I did not recognize it. I had called myself one of His for most of my life, and while that was true, the amount of time that I chose to spend with Him was not indicative of a desire for real relationship on my part. But once I understood how much He Loved me, began to understand the Grace that He had always been pouring into my life, then I was on my way to Freedom and a world with no low-hanging clouds of performance measurement. The Son had set me Free!
Those earlier years seem like a distant memory now and the people pleasing that I attempted back then, and its miserable failures, have washed away. Now I can live my life trying to please the Only One who will always Love me for me and not for who I should be. Because of His Grace, Mercy and Unfailing Love, I can now serve Him wholeheartedly and not because I have to. As I am learning that this is the relationship that we should all want to pursue, the dead ends of the past are being blown away. The memories of trying to be a good….. fill in the blank here- child, spouse, employee, co-worker or friend….. are still there, but I have found a better way to live and a greater prize to live for.
So no matter where you are on the road of life, there is a Freedom to be found. You can leave the voices of the past behind. Your current people-pleasing endeavor can be let go of and traded in for the relationship that you need the most. With the One who will Love you better than anyone else in your life, you will breathe a sigh of relief and begin to release yourself from the prison and chains that you have found yourself in. You will learn to Live in the Light and Love of a Perfect Savior. This is where you belong. This is where you will begin to find yourself. This is Home.
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